when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
