Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
