I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
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just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
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You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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