This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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