Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
