yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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