dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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