Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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