She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
