Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
