Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
