I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
