if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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