he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
