so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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