chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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