Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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