super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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