Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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