You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
