oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
