The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
