I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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