I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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