did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I fill condoms, not promises.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
