Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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