It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
