she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
