When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
