they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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