If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
