Moan for me like Helen Keller
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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