Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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