He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
