I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
