oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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