Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
