i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
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I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
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I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?