uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.