your room smells of hookers.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?