these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
