needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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