Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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