I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize