Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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