I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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