She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I supernannyed him into submission
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
