GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
