my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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