I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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