Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
