I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
