In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
