New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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