i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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