Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
