I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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