Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
