even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
