Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
