im gay
i know
yea but for you.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
