Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
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It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
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We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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