So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
