is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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