Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
