I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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