Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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