when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
